Trust in the timing

It’s been a minute . . . but the smallest signs of Vaughan Baker are back.

Good things take time. I’ve always loved this saying - although struggle with always accepting it. When I have an idea, or have said I will do something, I want to get it done as quickly as possible. Of course I want it to be good, but more importantly, I want to get it done fast. I constantly wish and work on making this not the case, and on truely believing that I can take my time. 

I’ve been wanting to get Vaughan Baker back online for over 2 years! What was meant to be a several month hiatus, has turned into 2.5 years. With 2 small children, a move to a new city, another business and all the life to live in between this passion project of mine has fallen by the wayside. There are many areas of growth for me in the stage of life we are in, with small children, who require so much care. I’d say the biggest of all for me, at the moment, is time. I have got to a point where my body is mainly recovered, and feels like my own again - no more growing humans or breastfeeding. And slowly the constant care is lessening, or rather changing. They still really need me, but in different ways now. And I am learning, and very much still practicing, that I need me too. I need to go to yoga, or swim, or have time to myself to just sit and be, or be a friend, or be a lover. I need to read books I’m interested in, and find creative ways to express myself for me, but also for my children. I want to show them a life and a way of living that I would be proud they create for themselves. And if one day they decide to become mothers, I want them to have seen an example of what it is like to lose yourself so completely to something and find ways to find themselves again. 

The struggle with having enough time is something I think many of us have learnt to struggle with, no matter the stage of life we are in. Our lives and worlds are filled with so much ‘more.’ Train more, do more, buy more, ‘be’ more - even rest more. We simply cannot do it all, and we’re all feeling like shit because we are constantly being told how to optimise everything, including ourselves. What if we are all we need to be right now? What if things will fall in place when and if we have the space and capacity to foster them. What if we believed we already were capable, and that what we are doing right now is enough. That resting on a Monday is necessary. That prioritising our health is vitally important. That the stage of life we are in is exactly where we need to be, and that careers, clean houses and staying in contact with everyone all the time isn’t where our energy is needed. What if we just learnt to trust in the timing of it all.